Darkest-Or Brightest-Secret

What should I write about? Where does my mind want to wander? What waste bin can I empty here tonight?

Suicide? No, I don’t have it in me to consider the inner workings of the mind and how we decide to kill ourselves. Plus, I need to keep my head in a positive place right now.

Work? Maybe not. After all, I have three jobs which a lot of people find amazingly boring. I just got promoted into a position I turned down six months ago because it would have conflicted with Red’s schedule. But now, I’ll take the job.

Hobbies? Nah, there’s no way I would be caught writing about going outside, camping, backpacking, biking, climbing, or fishing when I could be doing those things in this moment.

Sex? There’s nothing to tell. I don’t have any apparently.

More “About Me” type of stuff? Well, there’s not a whole lot to me that I haven’t already said. I identify more with where I have come from than where I am going, which has me stuck in a rut nearly every month or so.

Movies? Yeah, I like the ones everyone else hates and I hate the award winners and the popular types. Any Documentary recommendations?

My darkest secret? Ok, here goes. I have never felt attracted to men, although anyone by nature can identify attractive people. I have never fantasized about men. I have no desire to be with a man in a romantic way. Yet I have something in me that has developed my deepest and longest friendships with men who enjoy other men. I connect very well with homosexual and bisexual men, even in passing. There is one tiny part of me that confirms my opinion: sexual preference is a naturally occurring variance among people, and at some point in our lives we choose to either conformĀ our preferences, or embrace them. So, here’s to those who have the strength to identify themselves apart from the cultural norm. I respect that as a man who loves women, but more as a man who thrives on challenging the normal life we are told to live. My secret is that long ago I chose one path, but the other path still exists below decades of life.